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Broken News!
Freinds and infidels!
It provement by Biological Department of Idlibistan Institute of Muhaysinic Studies that evil lefteous Nusayri regime of pointy nose Syria dictator Assad starting new methodist of attack on poor innocent three billion children in Idlibistan!
Children like this, who wented out four innocent picnic from last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last school in Idlibistan!
It totally normal picnicking, at which they eating stewed human heart and playing game like Behead the Prisoner and Crucify the Christian! Complete normal fun children pleasure, righteous?
Since evil lefteous Nusayri regime not wanting to let children even picnic in piece, it attacking them with dreadfully new weapon!
How you like it if your children going out four picnic from school, totally innocent picnic, and pointy nose Assad attacking them with dreadfully new weapon, you telling me that? Not liking it, I thinking?
So what this weapon? Not sarinbarrelgasbomb, which off coarse everyone gnawing about now, but much worser!
Here, you taking look at photo!
You seeing red octopus thing? You remembering evil half naked Russia dictator Putin regime weaponised squid from Antarcticastan, about which much wroted few year ago in freedom loving western media? Now this new weaponised octopus from Arcticstan, which Russia expedition find in hole under ice!
And how it evil? It vampire octopus, that how!
Yes! Vampire! It like to attachment to human face and drinking blood, which is how it red in colour like evil lefteous Chinese regime flag. Remembering please that red meaning always evil. Anything red wrongeous, unacceptably, communist, socialist, and any other bad wording you can thinking of!
So evil half naked Russia dictator Putin regime give octopuses to evil pointy nose Assad regime, which then sended them to Idlibistan to sucking children blood.
How, you asking again? I telling you!
You noteing that octopuses clinging to blue balloon clustering. Evil lefteous pointy nose Assad set balloon clustering free to drifting over Idlibistan and coming down where innocent children out on picnicking from last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last school can finding them! You gnawing children like balloon, so as soon as they coming to get balloon, evil red half naked Russia dictator weaponised octopuses jumping on them to drinking their blood!
It not making your blood run cold?
Please be to immediately starting World War Three now before three billion children in Idlibistan draining of blood by vampire octopuses and deprived of joy of picnic fun chopping head in piece and quietly!
Insh'Muhaysinah it not be too late!
Takebeer! Muhaysinihu Akbar!
Please be to remembering that if you letting all children in Idlibistan blood be drinker by vampire octopus, soon no more blood in Idlibistan and then it coming four you.